are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need a beard to bite.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
