i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
