bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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