Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
