these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Everything about him screamed your future.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
