Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
