We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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