so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
