the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
