I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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