Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
