New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
