Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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