I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize