I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
