I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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