The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
