Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
