My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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