Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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