You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
