I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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