no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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