Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
