I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
