Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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