I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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