I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
