Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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