so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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