It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
