I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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