I hate all girls vehemently.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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