Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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