i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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