i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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