I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
