Say something about gay babies.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
