When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
