Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
