There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
