allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.