shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss