my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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