Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
