i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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