white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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