Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
