Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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