The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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