my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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