so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then you guys just all showered together...?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
