somebody snuck up and got me drunk
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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