ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize