I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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