Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
