Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
