I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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