My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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