trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
