her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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