whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
