i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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