Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
